bombat

2009, the shittiest year of my life *SO FAR

2009-12-24T01:34:03Z

JANUARY

1. Who kissed you on New Year?
eh

2. Did you have a New Year's resolution this year?
no, probably why i didn't accomplish anything.

3. Does it snow where you live?
YES!

4. Do you like hot chocolate?
yes! with candy canes

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
no and i have no desire to.

FEBRUARY

1. Who was your Valentine?
my bf at the time i suppose... but i don't remember what we did.

2. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class?
yeah we had to.

3. Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
no

4. Any specific music for February?

bob dylan- don't think twice, its alright

MARCH

1. Are you Irish?
Nope

2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?
Its my birthday, i never used to(cause i'm "edgy").... i have been the last few years. at least something green.

3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2009?
turned mother fucking 21! it would have been a lot more fun if my boyfriend at the time liked me... lol.

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
yeah.. but that doesn't happen here until late may...

APRIL

1. Do you like the rain?
yep

2. Did you play an April Fool's joke on anyone this year?
no the joke was on me this year

3. Do you celebrate 4/20?
it wasn't a month to celebrate

4. Did you love the month of April?
the opposite.

MAY

1. What's your favorite kind of flower?
daisies. (think they are technically a weed. but thats fitting)

2. Do you like the spring?
eh, i like fall better

3. Finish the phrase "April showers":
means i'll be drunk for the next 5 months straight.

4. What is the first color you think of when you think of Spring?
green

JUNE

1. What year did/will you graduate from high school?
2006

JULY

1.What did you do on the 4th of July?
went to a bbq with mccoy... drank jello shots and lotssss of vodka...

2. Did you go on any vacations during this month?
well, to the lake... but no not rly

3. Do you blast the A/C all day?
no, I don't have a/c. i lay under a tree.

AUGUST

1. Did you do anything special at the end of your summer?
no, just kept on drinkin!

2. What was your favorite summer memory of '09?
drunk bike riding! caras park, meeting mccoy

Did you get a sunburn?
i don't burn...

4. Do you go to the beach a lot?

MONTANA. i went to the lake and camping though

SEPTEMBER

1. Did you attend school/college in '09?
ya

2. If so where; if not, what you do instead?
UM COT

3. Do you like fall better then summer?
No. summer in missoula...ahhh. most magnificent days, even when you're depressed it is fucking heaven.

OCTOBER

1. What was your favorite Halloween costume?
courtney love. 07.

2. What's your favorite candy?
sour patch!

3. What did you dress up as this year?
a lion

NOVEMBER

1. Whose house did you go to for Thanksgiving?
my dad's

2. Do you love stuffing?
it's delicious. but we ate chicken

3. What are you thankful for?
surviving this year!

DECEMBER

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
for the presents, not for the jesus

2. If not, what do you celebrate?
being with my family, the fireplace, food, love

3. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?
no

4. Get anything special last year?
my laptop

5. What do you want this year?
$$$

6. Do you like cold weather?
when it snows i love it. otherwise no.

why i should not drink.

2009-12-21T23:22:19Z

i think hana and i were hiding in this one. lol@dans face in all of these.

awww. his beard is super sexy. they grow on you

Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there

2009-12-17T04:35:27Z

today was probably one of those days in which i needed a friend. But i didn't call anyone.
if i can't handle this myself, i can't handle it.

I'll get back to this in about a week.

“People have to face regrets. Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen....Life isn't supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn't supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it's comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day's not perfect, it's not a failure or a terrible loss. It's just another day."

nobody gives you power, you just take it.

2009-12-16T08:12:41Z

Retrograde ejaculation: the entry of semen into the bladder instead of going out through the urethra during ejaculation.
so weird the things i learn in school.

So. I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people. that's why I don't like any of them.
some girls are too stupid to realize what they should be fighting for. stop. think. and realize 'women should be allies, not competitors'. i bet you felt exactly like this at one point. but you're too stupid to realize that you're only hurting yourself, baby.
its just sad, how many women worked with each other to give us the place in society we have and every time you're stupid and immature and turn your back on a woman, you are shitting all over their work. turning back the clock. I won't feel sorry for you when you end up playing a pathetic role in a miserable marriage.

its just been something that has always bothered me. and i was reminded of it today.

santa's just afraid of you as you are of him.

not excited for christmas this year.

my only regret, is that i have... boneitis

2009-12-14T18:42:20Z

I wish my dad still lived in Missoula.
But for one reason only: he has a sweeeet camera and i would love to take pictures of my kitty in the snow.
and of the sledding party/cocoa and pep schnapps party that is about to occur.

i've been awake since 9am yesterday. insomnias got the best of me. but i've been utilizing my awake time by studying and finishing my last paper. I have two finals to take, tommorrow and wednesday, then i'm done. and unless i completely bomb them, i got a's in all my classes. nursing is already decided.

i'm doing good, despite the way i feel.
i think my obsession with kim kardashian is unhealthy. i started crying during the season premiere last night, when she's all sad about her and reggie breaking up. shes all depresso and her apt is a mess... and i used to love chloe. but wtf. wtf. that marriage can only end badly. and when she talks to him, the tone of her voice sounds like a baby. so annoying.

I talked to annie last night. she pissed me off, yet i was able to hold back and she was none the wiser.

my cat and i are in love.
she needs her rabies shot though. how is she five years old without a rabies shot?! she might already have it, and will attack me suddenly in my sleep. raaaaaaaaAAYYR!
it would probably sound like that

ok i've drank my share of coffee this morn. and yet so delirious. ready for sleep. finished my psych assignment. did it on girl interrupted. jokes on you, dr. pepper. (thats my prof.'s name. srsly.) I have only seen that movie two billion times and read the book thrice. no research involved!

i'm so glad marty is a knitter now.
shes picking it up way faster than i did. already knittin in the round like a fool. a damn fool

I need to take pictures of my finished projects and put them on my ravelry. Next, i'm to make a big ol' hat. and a shoulder bag. because i haven't knitted a bag yet. and then i conquer a sweater. I need to make more time.

as horrific as the past 7 months of my life has been, i have kept my own obligations up pretty well.

i just typed a whole lot. and not gonna read over that shit. everything is going two million miles per hour. i just talked to andy on facebook chat and he's all "are you on amphetamines?" whatever andy. i'm on coffee mixed with cocoa.

and now im going to get a meatball sub. they are my main staple.

grrlgerms17 @ 2009-12-14T02:27:00

2009-12-14T09:27:18Z

What a beautiful day. the kind of day that starts with a hearty breakfast and ends with a newsreader saying, "..before turning the gun on himself."

this

2009-12-12T01:27:35Z

Disorder	Your Score
Major Depression:	High
Dysthymia:	Slight-Moderate
Bipolar Disorder:	Extremely High
Cyclothymia:	Very High
Seasonal Affective Disorder:	Extremely High
Postpartum Depression:	N/A
Take the Depression Test

can't be right.

buy a montana millionaire ticket.

2009-12-10T06:05:16Z

being poor sucks.
i hate looking at all the things i want but can't buy. but i do anyway.
I WANT IT ALL.

such a pretty dress...

books on tape

having dreams is nice.

I LOVE PASTA SOOOOOOOO MUCH.i lost 5 lbs. 10 to go.
i'm adjusting to my hair
back to knitting these mittens. marty, you will be happy with these. i'm excited.

FIFTY REPTILES?!

2009-12-10T04:00:15Z

In 2009, grrlgerms17 resolves to...

Give up houseplant jungles.
Go to roseanne every Sunday.
Be nicer to anethema_device.
Take evening classes in missoula.
Put fifty reptiles a month into my savings account.
Cut down on my knitting.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, grrlgerms17 sent to me...

Twelve voices_onmutes drumming

Eleven nsomniacs piping

Ten bradwardftws a-leaping

Nine katelynkoseks dancing

Eight corpsegriders a-milking

Seven jes_m_rs a-swimming

Six minkberettas a-knitting

Five ta-a-a-axidermieds

Four evelynmoontides

Three reptiles

Two houseplant jungles

...and a missoula in a rad_frog.

FIVE TAAAXADERRMIEDS!

watching this documentary on forced prostitution.

must.keep.knitting.

myspace, the ultimate creep

2009-12-04T12:22:11Z

12/4/2009
5:09 AM
Jordan:
hello :-)
……………………………………………………………………
5:09 AM
Beth:
whatup
……………………………………………………………………
5:09 AM
Jordan:
nothing much. just woke up.
goofin' around on the internet. you?
……………………………………………………………………
5:13 AM
Beth:
knitting. watching roseanne
……………………………………………………………………
5:14 AM
Jordan:
woah. thats all-american baby!
……………………………………………………………………
5:15 AM
Beth:
hm. ok.
……………………………………………………………………
5:16 AM
Jordan:
where is your sense of humor? ;-)
……………………………………………………………………
5:16 AM
Beth:
lol?
……………………………………………………………………
5:16 AM
Jordan:
that works

i have no idea who this person is or why i accepted his friend request...? did i? i don't remember. But everytime I go on myspace (like twice a month) he is on and IMs me. fuckin weird dude.
how hard is it to realize you're being this dumb.

without illicet sex, shame is just shame

2009-12-04T00:07:57Z

FUCK

i miss my hair... so much... i think this was a bad idea.

i'm super sad lately. been sooo grumpy the past 3 days.
I love my cat, but I miss my tayte. and my clinto, clinto. always

I HAS NO HAIR.

2009-11-27T22:50:53Z

I chopped my hair off.... this may not seem like a big deal, but i have not had hair this short since SIXTH GRADE. it has been mid back or longer since 8th....i freaked out a bit at first... but i like it.

before

after!

H'ween etc.

2009-11-13T11:06:02Z

heres some ween *moments*
</a>

DRUNK. jungle cattt

god i look wasted in all of these.

look how pretty mardo looks in this one. kind of look like a bitch. albeit, a sexxxxy bitch.

dumb.

hahahah. monkey

I always get these huge bouts of motivation... can't sleep gotta get shit done.
couldn't sleep so i read the first 150 pgs of HP 6.... productive...

about to make coffee, finish up my laundry, make a list of the 1001 things i have to do today, shower and get going. running errands at 8 am probably. I have the weirdest sleeping patterns

schools still going smoothly

have a lot of anger/frustration, suffocation by missoula, but now am thinking I'm making too much progress in school to disrupt it.
I think I may die though. mentally it would be the best choice for me. But I can't risk it right now. I hate myself for not just picking up and leaving.
but i mean... what else have i accomplished lately besides doing well in school? I can't really compromise that. Only one more year... then I can be free.
MISSOULA YOU ARE AN EVIL SLUT OF A VORTEX.

grrlgerms17 @ 2009-10-28T18:02:00

2009-10-29T00:17:26Z

"everyday I wake up, I choose love, I choose light, and I try. its too easy just to fall apart"

cause when our hearts are full we need much less

capes never go out of style

2009-10-28T07:01:02Z

my apt is sooo freakin creepy. I swear multiple people were violently murdered there. I hear their ghosts at night.

my favorite owl

peer deep into its eye

prettiest girl in the world.

Paradise

2009-10-25T21:12:34Z

IF I had planned ahead, i would have totally made this

aand i gotta run

I FUCKING LOVE THIS CAT.

2009-10-19T00:59:07Z

shes the best dogcat ever
at subway stealing finnegans internet to update. about to walk home and finish my first mitten on dpns...! exciting. I have like 10-15 rows left... and the thumb. and then another mitten. hard workk
OH! my car broke... err is making these horrible sounds and i don't want to drive it. taking it in to get new brakes and struts tommorrow.
whateva. I live within a 7 block radius of everywhere I go... except school...and i have class tommorrow.

allright.

"pregnant... with emotion?"

2009-10-15T22:49:20Z

things are so weird right now.
I have about 3 hours of homework ahead of me. Then i wanna watch movies and knit the night away..
I haven't made progress on these mittens in like a week

sorry for the shitty pic, all i have is webcam right now
but srsly. how pathetic? I need to get on this shit.
WISH SCHOOL DIDN'T INTERFERE WITH MY KNITTING OBSESSION SO BAD. UGH!

ok ok. time to study =(

cupcake

2009-10-11T23:54:29Z

I gotta cat yo
hey hey hey
shes adorable and loves cuddlin. aww. meow

<3

9-23-09

2009-09-24T02:45:08Z

there is a balding maniac reading to himself (in a whisper) sitting next to me. with a camo fanny pack.

i'm snapping out of the depressive bullshit and really really need to feel productive.
i'm buying roller skates. i just feel like roller skating you know?

I have a little bit of money coming my way. I need sushi, half sleeve, and shopping in a very bad way.
sooo poor. I'm learning how to use my sewing machine more. I haven't bought clothes in ages and i hate everything i own. I'm at the library right now, but it closes in 25 minutes and i'm gonna go home, dye my hair, and clean my kitch.

behold:

delicious (and blurry) huckleberry and apple pie I made the last night.

time to walk home.
I appreciate being alone*

eat cocaine off america's gravestone

2009-09-10T04:29:44Z

last night at davila 666 show with julie and hana(minkberetta):

JENGA. so intense.

flesh and blood needs flesh and blood

2009-08-25T22:22:12Z

sooo happy i was able to get into the classes I needed to
yess. so. taking:
-intro to nursing
-nutrition
-math 121 (and i will pass math. i will pass and i will never think about numbers again. getting a tutor the first week of school.)
-psychology
-PILATES

i worked last night from 3am-7am. with this totally strange bald man... who talked about when he was in law school? wtf is he doing working graveyards at a hotel? but the weirdest thing is he reminded me of Sheryl, in man form. He even looked like her, like he could be her brother. Sheryl was the shiiit.
I also work with this Michael guy i know thru Jason. Oh jason. you're so misled.

i really need to find a different job or get my days switched, though. If i keep the schedule they put me on, i'll be at school MWF, and work 11pm-7am friday, saturday, sunday. probably a good thing, to calm me down, and i guess i'll have tues and thurs off...

student loan checks should be here on monday. start school on monday.
get paid the first of sept.

well. mccoy is adorable. i think i was just afraid i wasn't over adam. which maybe i'm not fully, but i think when things happen the way they did with that, theres always some leftover feelings(hostility.) but i can honestly say that i would rather be with mccoy, theres way more attraction between us. I know he's not really my type... but, he's so nice to me, and funny even though he doesn't realize he's being. "an earwig? put it in your ear." "put it in your wig!" and doesn't seem like it but is actually really smart. smarter than i am, reallllly good with numbers and can speak like 4 languages. i think he just plays dumb because he's lazy and high all the time, and him joey matt and boyce are ALL raging partiers (like... at least a gallon of whiskey at their house a night.. usually more. stupid nuts.)

i went to spokane with mccoy this last weekend for a folf tournament. the first night we were there i watched the first 7 holes, went and explored, and then when he was done we got all dressed up for OLIVE GARDEN (lolol) and had delicious pastas and they're salad is an orgasm in a bowl and a bunch of beer and whiskey cokes. such a fun lil adorable date.
the next day he finished the tourney while i thrifted around spokeane's ghetto.
when we got home we went to the rhino, then got a half gal of r&r, julie came over, and we (mccoy johnny matt julie me) went to the golden rose till close. then came back and finished the whiskey, played techmo(i kick ass at it) and contra (don't so much kick ass at that), and passed out.
it was good.
things are good nothing can touch this.

Wallace, Idaho. on our drive home... we went to a sweet arcade for like an hour and ate huckleberry ice cream :)

drunk
drunk

passed the fuck out. lolol.

when i get my loan money the first thing i'm going to do is have a feast of sushi and sake, buy a fat sack, and get the first part of my half sleeve done

oh fuck yes.

fucking weird.

2009-07-28T10:43:19Z

my organs feel like they are going to jump out of my throat. incredible change requires incredible strength. I tell myself this is making me stronger, but often wonder if its just making me callous. i'm afraid that the result of being forced into so much emotion at once is complete apathy.
Ive been thinking differently lately. one thought jumps to the next, each more bizzare and out of character. i spiral into my own mind so many times throughout the day, and from the outside it probably looks like i'm blank and void of any thoughts at all.
but.
somehow i always play the best game, even with the worst hand.

yehh

2009-06-27T10:51:41Z

i spilled beer on my leg.

going camping tonight
holllla

later haters

OH Ebin you've changed...

2009-06-19T21:49:09Z

by ebin i of course mean tim kirby. random ass facebook chat go:

3:33pmTim

alabama for 12 weeks

3:34pmBeth

bum deal...? alabama sounds horrible.

3:34pmTim

i joined the army

so it will be haha

3:35pmBeth

WHY THE FUCK

3:35pmTim

everyone says that

i dont have a good answer yet

3:37pmBeth

are you a repub?

3:37pmTim

i am haha

that didnt have much to do with it.

3:38pmBeth

well, better you than me

hahaha just kiddin

3:38pmTim

originally i wanted to join to be an mp

so i could get cop experience and not have to go to school haha

but they didnt have any mp open so i joined the bomb squad instead

3:38pmBeth

you want to be a cop toO?

3:38pmTim

hahaha yeah

3:39pmBeth

oh god i hate everything about you

3:40pmTim

haha you wouldnt guess how many times ive heard that

3:40pmBeth

i'm sorry. its not true. i only hate your morals and everything you stand for.