| my only regret, is that i have... boneitis |
[14 Dec 2009|11:42am] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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I wish my dad still lived in Missoula.
But for one reason only: he has a sweeeet camera and i would love to take pictures of my kitty in the snow.
and of the sledding party/cocoa and pep schnapps party that is about to occur.
i've been awake since 9am yesterday. insomnias got the best of me. but i've been utilizing my awake time by studying and finishing my last paper. I have two finals to take, tommorrow and wednesday, then i'm done. and unless i completely bomb them, i got a's in all my classes. nursing is already decided.
i'm doing good, despite the way i feel.
i think my obsession with kim kardashian is unhealthy. i started crying during the season premiere last night, when she's all sad about her and reggie breaking up. shes all depresso and her apt is a mess... and i used to love chloe. but wtf. wtf. that marriage can only end badly. and when she talks to him, the tone of her voice sounds like a baby. so annoying.
I talked to annie last night. she pissed me off, yet i was able to hold back and she was none the wiser.
my cat and i are in love.
she needs her rabies shot though. how is she five years old without a rabies shot?! she might already have it, and will attack me suddenly in my sleep. raaaaaaaaAAYYR!
it would probably sound like that
ok i've drank my share of coffee this morn. and yet so delirious. ready for sleep. finished my psych assignment. did it on girl interrupted. jokes on you, dr. pepper. (thats my prof.'s name. srsly.) I have only seen that movie two billion times and read the book thrice. no research involved!
i'm so glad marty is a knitter now.
shes picking it up way faster than i did. already knittin in the round like a fool. a damn fool
I need to take pictures of my finished projects and put them on my ravelry. Next, i'm to make a big ol' hat. and a shoulder bag. because i haven't knitted a bag yet. and then i conquer a sweater. I need to make more time.
as horrific as the past 7 months of my life has been, i have kept my own obligations up pretty well.
i just typed a whole lot. and not gonna read over that shit. everything is going two million miles per hour. i just talked to andy on facebook chat and he's all "are you on amphetamines?" whatever andy. i'm on coffee mixed with cocoa.
and now im going to get a meatball sub. they are my main staple.
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[14 Dec 2009|02:27am] |
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What a beautiful day. the kind of day that starts with a hearty breakfast and ends with a newsreader saying, "..before turning the gun on himself."
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| this |
[11 Dec 2009|06:27pm] |
can't be right.
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| buy a montana millionaire ticket. |
[09 Dec 2009|11:05pm] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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music |
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david allan coe |
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being poor sucks.
i hate looking at all the things i want but can't buy. but i do anyway.
I WANT IT ALL.
( incredibly unrealistic xmas list )
I LOVE PASTA SOOOOOOOO MUCH.i lost 5 lbs. 10 to go.
i'm adjusting to my hair
back to knitting these mittens. marty, you will be happy with these. i'm excited.
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| FIFTY REPTILES?! |
[09 Dec 2009|09:00pm] |
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mood |
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 headachin |
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In 2009,  grrlgerms17 resolves to... Give up houseplant jungles. Go to roseanne every Sunday. Be nicer to anethema_device. Take evening classes in missoula. Put fifty reptiles a month into my savings account. Cut down on my knitting.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, grrlgerms17 sent to me... Twelve voices_onmutes drumming Eleven nsomniacs piping Ten bradwardftws a-leaping Nine katelynkoseks dancing Eight corpsegriders a-milking Seven jes_m_rs a-swimming Six minkberettas a-knitting Five ta-a-a-axidermieds Four evelynmoontides Three reptiles Two houseplant jungles ...and a missoula in a rad_frog.
FIVE TAAAXADERRMIEDS!
watching this documentary on forced prostitution.
must.keep.knitting.
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| myspace, the ultimate creep |
[04 Dec 2009|05:22am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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le tigre! |
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12/4/2009
5:09 AM
Jordan:
hello :-)
……………………………………………………………………
5:09 AM
Beth:
whatup
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5:09 AM
Jordan:
nothing much. just woke up.
goofin' around on the internet. you?
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5:13 AM
Beth:
knitting. watching roseanne
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5:14 AM
Jordan:
woah. thats all-american baby!
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5:15 AM
Beth:
hm. ok.
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5:16 AM
Jordan:
where is your sense of humor? ;-)
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5:16 AM
Beth:
lol?
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5:16 AM
Jordan:
that works
i have no idea who this person is or why i accepted his friend request...? did i? i don't remember. But everytime I go on myspace (like twice a month) he is on and IMs me. fuckin weird dude.
how hard is it to realize you're being this dumb.
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| without illicet sex, shame is just shame |
[03 Dec 2009|05:07pm] |
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mood |
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 morose |
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music |
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highway man |
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FUCK
i miss my hair... so much... i think this was a bad idea.
i'm super sad lately. been sooo grumpy the past 3 days.
I love my cat, but I miss my tayte. and my clinto, clinto. always
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| I HAS NO HAIR. |
[27 Nov 2009|03:50pm] |
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mood |
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 weird |
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music |
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i'm not crying. you're not crying, are you??? |
] |
I chopped my hair off.... this may not seem like a big deal, but i have not had hair this short since SIXTH GRADE. it has been mid back or longer since 8th....i freaked out a bit at first... but i like it.
( before/after )
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| H'ween etc. |
[13 Nov 2009|04:05am] |
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mood |
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bouncy |
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heres some ween *moments*
</a>
I always get these huge bouts of motivation... can't sleep gotta get shit done.
couldn't sleep so i read the first 150 pgs of HP 6.... productive... about to make coffee, finish up my laundry, make a list of the 1001 things i have to do today, shower and get going. running errands at 8 am probably. I have the weirdest sleeping patterns
schools still going smoothly
have a lot of anger/frustration, suffocation by missoula, but now am thinking I'm making too much progress in school to disrupt it.
I think I may die though. mentally it would be the best choice for me. But I can't risk it right now. I hate myself for not just picking up and leaving.
but i mean... what else have i accomplished lately besides doing well in school? I can't really compromise that. Only one more year... then I can be free.
MISSOULA YOU ARE AN EVIL SLUT OF A VORTEX.
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[28 Oct 2009|06:02pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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submarines |
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"everyday I wake up, I choose love, I choose light, and I try. its too easy just to fall apart"
cause when our hearts are full we need much less
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| capes never go out of style |
[28 Oct 2009|12:46am] |
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mood |
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weird |
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music |
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bob dylan |
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my apt is sooo freakin creepy. I swear multiple people were violently murdered there. I hear t heir ghosts at night. 
my favorite owl
peer deep into its eye
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| Paradise |
[25 Oct 2009|03:07pm] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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music |
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mountain goats |
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IF I had planned ahead, i would have totally made this
aand i gotta run
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| I FUCKING LOVE THIS CAT. |
[18 Oct 2009|06:50pm] |
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mood |
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MEATBALL SUBBB |
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music |
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chairlift-bruises |
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shes the best dogcat ever
at subway stealing finnegans internet to update. about to walk home and finish my first mitten on dpns...! exciting. I have like 10-15 rows left... and the thumb. and then another mitten. hard workk
OH! my car broke... err is making these horrible sounds and i don't want to drive it. taking it in to get new brakes and struts tommorrow.
whateva. I live within a 7 block radius of everywhere I go... except school...and i have class tommorrow.
allright.
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| "pregnant... with emotion?" |
[15 Oct 2009|04:33pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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music |
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movie- knocked up |
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things are so weird right now.
I have about 3 hours of homework ahead of me. Then i wanna watch movies and knit the night away..
I haven't made progress on these mittens in like a week
sorry for the shitty pic, all i have is webcam right now
but srsly. how pathetic? I need to get on this shit.
WISH SCHOOL DIDN'T INTERFERE WITH MY KNITTING OBSESSION SO BAD. UGH!
ok ok. time to study =(
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| cupcake |
[11 Oct 2009|05:52pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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bratmobile |
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I gotta cat yo
hey hey hey
shes adorable and loves cuddlin. aww. meow
<3
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| 9-23-09 |
[23 Sep 2009|08:27pm] |
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mood |
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working |
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there is a balding maniac reading to himself (in a whisper) sitting next to me. with a camo fanny pack.
i'm snapping out of the depressive bullshit and really really need to feel productive.
i'm buying roller skates. i just feel like roller skating you know?
I have a little bit of money coming my way. I need sushi, half sleeve, and shopping in a very bad way.
sooo poor. I'm learning how to use my sewing machine more. I haven't bought clothes in ages and i hate everything i own. I'm at the library right now, but it closes in 25 minutes and i'm gonna go home, dye my hair, and clean my kitch.
behold:
 
delicious (and blurry) huckleberry and apple pie I made the last night.
time to walk home.
I appreciate being alone*
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| flesh and blood needs flesh and blood |
[25 Aug 2009|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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sooo happy i was able to get into the classes I needed to
yess. so. taking:
-intro to nursing
-nutrition
-math 121 (and i will pass math. i will pass and i will never think about numbers again. getting a tutor the first week of school.)
-psychology
-PILATES
i worked last night from 3am-7am. with this totally strange bald man... who talked about when he was in law school? wtf is he doing working graveyards at a hotel? but the weirdest thing is he reminded me of Sheryl, in man form. He even looked like her, like he could be her brother. Sheryl was the shiiit.
I also work with this Michael guy i know thru Jason. Oh jason. you're so misled.
i really need to find a different job or get my days switched, though. If i keep the schedule they put me on, i'll be at school MWF, and work 11pm-7am friday, saturday, sunday. probably a good thing, to calm me down, and i guess i'll have tues and thurs off...
student loan checks should be here on monday. start school on monday.
get paid the first of sept.
well. mccoy is adorable. i think i was just afraid i wasn't over adam. which maybe i'm not fully, but i think when things happen the way they did with that, theres always some leftover feelings(hostility.) but i can honestly say that i would rather be with mccoy, theres way more attraction between us. I know he's not really my type... but, he's so nice to me, and funny even though he doesn't realize he's being. "an earwig? put it in your ear." "put it in your wig!" and doesn't seem like it but is actually really smart. smarter than i am, reallllly good with numbers and can speak like 4 languages. i think he just plays dumb because he's lazy and high all the time, and him joey matt and boyce are ALL raging partiers (like... at least a gallon of whiskey at their house a night.. usually more. stupid nuts.)
i went to spokane with mccoy this last weekend for a folf tournament. the first night we were there i watched the first 7 holes, went and explored, and then when he was done we got all dressed up for OLIVE GARDEN (lolol) and had delicious pastas and they're salad is an orgasm in a bowl and a bunch of beer and whiskey cokes. such a fun lil adorable date.
the next day he finished the tourney while i thrifted around spokeane's ghetto.
when we got home we went to the rhino, then got a half gal of r&r, julie came over, and we (mccoy johnny matt julie me) went to the golden rose till close. then came back and finished the whiskey, played techmo(i kick ass at it) and contra (don't so much kick ass at that), and passed out.
it was good.
things are good nothing can touch this.
Wallace, Idaho. on our drive home... we went to a sweet arcade for like an hour and ate huckleberry ice cream :) ( Read more... )
when i get my loan money the first thing i'm going to do is have a feast of sushi and sake, buy a fat sack, and get the first part of my half sleeve done
oh fuck yes.
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| fucking weird. |
[28 Jul 2009|04:38am] |
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mood |
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rejuvenated |
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music |
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x ray spex |
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my organs feel like they are going to jump out of my throat. incredible change requires incredible strength. I tell myself this is making me stronger, but often wonder if its just making me callous. i'm afraid that the result of being forced into so much emotion at once is complete apathy.
Ive been thinking differently lately. one thought jumps to the next, each more bizzare and out of character. i spiral into my own mind so many times throughout the day, and from the outside it probably looks like i'm blank and void of any thoughts at all.
but.
somehow i always play the best game, even with the worst hand.
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grrlgerms17's journal
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